Seattle Wins Super Bowl XLIX! The Bones Were Right!

You saw it. I saw it. The whole world saw it. The Seattle Seahawks had Super Bowl XLIX won. All they had to do was give the ball to the best running back in football, and it was over. Two yards, a cloud of dust, and they’re the champs.

But, inexplicably, a pass was called, and defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory. It will undoubtedly go down as the dumbest, most ridiculous, and perplexing coaching decision in the history of sports. So, why did it happen?

Did the Patriots have compromising photos of Pete Carroll, and use them to blackmail him into throwing the game? Or, maybe he's crazy? Is he crazy? Or, did New England somehow tamper with the chicken bones I used? Hey, I wouldn’t put it past them. Unfortunately, we may never know for sure, but what we do know is this; the bones were right, again.